The cold feet experience
I knew I was going to talk about this day but I always envisaged that the day that I finally get the chance to, would be when I have blown, lol! Lamar would always emphasize the fact that from his judgment and evaluation, I am a great man. I don’t know why I earned such accolades from him because he is someone who never sees white as off-white or cream; he sees it as it is. So when I read our chats or remember the conversation about how great I am, I internalize it and I usually feel blown.
I remember this awkward day I was going to give a speech in church, to address everyone craving their support for the Altar servers association as I called the name of the awardees.
It was a big night, maybe one of the biggest audiences I have had to face. There was a graveyard silence, expectations in the eyes of the people. I wasn’t sure what could have been going on in their minds and usually, even with the crazy experience of trying to overcome shyness, once I have the microphone, nothing stops me again, not even angry faces.
But on this fateful day, as I received the microphone, I developed cold feet and I began to stutter. In less than a minute, I lost my voice and what I did was I looked up and in that moment, my eyes were closed. Trust me, I just had to fight the demons from within.
The experience I had that day is one I never talked about to anyone. I crossed over from that year into the new one with the thought of how unimpressive I was, even when the Queen mother told me she was proud of me and prayed for me.
Anything, not minding how minute can cause cold feet and the cause varies from person to person. The reason I keep saying public speaking isn’t easy is because you have to deal with your confidence as well as your articulation, conveying the right message in the right tone in the right manner. Another thing of great importance is your expression and you don’t want to mess up in between.
Working as Human Resource personnel has also availed me the opportunity of meeting and interacting with people from different backgrounds and truthfully, those who have hacked the tension of the interview rooms are very few. Most times, we see candidates shiver; some might just go blank while others will start sweating despite the room being well air conditioned.
The experience with cold feet can happen anywhere or before anyone. Most times, we don’t see it coming but over time I have learnt some lessons and I would like to share them with you, I hope you will find them useful.
· Manage your anxiety by doing the things you love a few minutes before you get started at what you want to do starting. This could be getting a re-assurance call from a loved one or talking with a friend about something that is different from what you want to do. (These are my own tricks but if they don’t work with you, kindly find yours and work with).
· Make a good first impression: Be clear about what you’ll say, some people usually start by finding a common ground with the audience through a joke or saying something that could inspire people to listen further.
· Build your confidence by preparing very well prior to the program, interview or what you have to do in front of your audience, face the mirror if you must. It sure has a way to help in your performance.
· Get enough sleep before your presentation of any form. This makes your body system a lot better to support your pursuit of balance, confidence and excellence in your performance.
· Wear comfortable dresses and shoes, you don’t want people staring at you when it’s not showbiz. Wear your confidence too.
· For starters, don’t be discouraged by the faces that aren’t smiling, look deep for your own audience and focus there. The ‘not smiling geng’ will return the energy which will circulate round the room eventually.
· Very importantly, always give your best. Give the best and correct information; try as much as you can when you have the audience to give information that hits home.
Failing builds your character through the determination not to give up. I have messed up but I have not given up, I have sometimes lost my penchant for public speaking when I allow people to steal my confidence but somehow I always know that I have it in me.
Whenever I have the opportunity to speak, I make sure it is with everything within me. In 2019, I organized a valentine show for clients in my office and did spoken word poetry, it is surely one of the best days of my entire work career yet, I also had to hold it up with the microphone for three hours and it was truly scintillating. People still talk about that experience and I love how it sounds to me.
You are made for more. Cold feet? You may experience them but never allow it ruin your preparation and event. Your voice might be the least in the room but when you face your audience, it becomes the god voice in the room that everyone respects.
I hope we keep fighting for our dreams and beating our very best performance at every slight opportunity that we get.
Love always
Olajide